Stargazing
by Livelier
Summary: Sometimes you can't be afraid to fall. LJ Oneshot. R&R?


_A/N: Hello, everyone! I originally started this using a small meadow instead of the Astronomy tower, but yesterday, when I was stargazing (hence the title) this idea just kind of hit me, and I went with it. It's a bit different from my usual stuff, but sometimes change is good. Please enjoy! R&R!_

_Disclaimer: The quote " __Loving can cost a lot but not loving always costs more, and those who fear to love often find that want of love is an emptiness that robs the joy from life" is not mine. That belongs to Merle Shain. Other than that, I am not JKR, nor will I ever be. _

Stargazing

I've come here quite a bit over my seven years at Hogwarts. It's a good place to think and enjoy the solitude. It's a place where the horrors of Lord Voldemort and this God-awful war seem like just a frightening nightmare. Believe it or not, it's the very same place where I first met James Potter. That proud, messy-haired boy on the train in first year was Potter. But this was the James that could make me laugh, and forget.

It was fifth year when I discovered this place. It's not as if I didn't know about it before, but most people, unless accompanied, tended to shy away from it. Perhaps it was a stroke of luck that the older Prefects left me, Lily Evans, to clear out the Astronomy Tower. Cringing, and not knowing--or caring to find out--what I might find, I made my way up the dark staircase. It took me about ten minutes to get everyone out of there. And after deducting mass amounts of house points, I walked to the balcony and leaned up against the railing as I breathed in the cool September air.

I could easily see why this was such a hotspot amongst the teenage lovebirds—the glow of the moon, the slight breeze…it all made for a very romantic, picturesque scene. So, I started coming here most every night.

It was quite simple, really—I just saved the Astronomy Tower for last on my nightly patrols, and after evacuating the premises, I would spend the rest of the night on the open balcony, gazing at the sky. It became somewhat of routine.

One night, at the end of sixth year, I was surprised to find my usual setting already occupied. I froze when I noticed a tall, slender figure resting against the railing. I tried to discreetly make my way out, but a floorboard creaked loudly under my weight. I cursed silently when the boy turned slowly around to face me.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb—" I began, my cheeks beginning to burn, but the boy turned back before I could finish my sentence.

"You're fine. I shouldn't be here anyway," the familiar, deep voice said apologetically. I knew that voice.

Although he had said he shouldn't be here, he made no move to leave. I half-smiled and went to join him. "Potter."

"Lily," he replied quietly, still staring out at the stars. It was a beautiful night. There had been a full moon the day before, and it shone brightly in the sky. Not a single cloud hovered above, but it smelled distinctly of rain. "How many?" James asked suddenly.

That threw me for a loop. "I'm sorry?" I tilted my head to the side, wondering if I had missed something.

He turned his head to look at me, and I noticed that his eyes lacked the usual mischievous sparkle. "Points," he answered. "How many points are you taking away?"

I sighed and shifted my weight. "Honestly, James, I just took away about 50 points from Gryffindor, and I'm in no mood to take away any more," I admitted.

He turned sharply. "But it's nearly one in the morning and I'm out of bed."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Do you _want _me to deduct house points, Potter?" I challenged. He shook his head. "Besides, I doubt there's any left to take," I added pointedly.

James smirked lackadaisically _(A/N: Sorry, guys, I just had to add that. It means half-heartedly, for those of you who didn't know—I sure didn't)_ and, once again, it wasn't the arrogant smile that he so commonly wore. "Well that's bound to happen when I get 50 taken off in _one go_," he joked.

I surprised us both by laughing along with him. His eyes widened like he had never heard such a sound before. It became a natural thing after that, laughing did, but James never seemed to be pleased that he could inspire that kind of a response from me.

After a while, I found myself longing to come back to the Astronomy Tower for different reasons. While I enjoyed the solitude, having James in my company was like being with Peace. Every night, I would rush through my patrols, and nearly run up to meet James.

Mostly, we would just watch the stars, and talk about life—our families, the future, the war, our faults, and our friends—nothing was off limits. I found it strangely easy to converse with him. We found a friendship in each other, a comfort.

This was the first place I found true, immutable happiness.

It scared me, that happiness. It scared me that one person could affect the way I look at things, and never failed to make me see reason, the truth. I was frightened of the longing I felt when I was away from him, and how he seemed to know me better than myself. Most of all, I was petrified of this feeling—the butterflies, the racing heart, and the burning cheeks.

But James Potter taught me a few things: Loving can cost a lot but not loving always costs more, and those who fear to love often find that want of love is an emptiness that robs the joy from life. Sometimes you can't be afraid to fall—you've just got to let go. And so I did. I let go of everything I knew.

Just a few months later, this was the place where I shared my first _real_ kiss, and, less than a year after that, this was the place where that same James Potter proposed.

This is the place I said _yes_.

_A/N: So, that's it. I hope one or two people out there liked it. I would love to hear your feedback on this. Also, I'm not totally crazy about the title. Does anyone have any better ideas? If you do, I'll post them on my profile, or on this story later, and we can take a vote. Thanks for reading! Please review! It means a lot to me! Happy Valentines Day everyone!_

_With much love,_

_Livelier_


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